The Great Pretender

I have a book full of stories. Filled with smile, laughter, tears, sadness. All my life, not even once have I let anyone take a peak, let-alone read through the pages.
I have live my whole life as two very different person. One for everyone to see, and one only for myself to keep. No matter how kind someone is to me, I've never let them know what is really going on inside.
Through the years I've learn to masked my sadness with anger. Through the years I have learn to concealed my tears in a smile. I can laugh while crying inside. I can smile while being stabbed and bleed to death.
You can say that, just like the famous old song, I am the great pretender. Nothing shows, nothing came through. I will remain a mystery to everyone.
I have often asked myself: "Why?"
I have often find an answer: "I'm scared and I'm scarred."
Once, I've shown my true self to another soul. I let everything float on the surface with hopes that they'd understand, that they'd be my rock through it all. But I only got everything thrown right back at me. Saw them cowered with fear, sneer with disgust and mock with pity. The shock of my life it was. From then on, I have sworn to myself not to repeat the same mistake again. Not to be persuaded by anything ever again.
Yes, call me a great pretender. Look in my eyes and you won't see what's true and what's not. For I will forever remain a mystery.