Jealousy...
Foolish, they say.
They don't know how sad it is.
Ridiculous, they say.
They don't know how painful it is.
Sitting there and watch
the one your heart ache for is in front of you.
Eyes, smile, attention
all for one person but you.
Standing there and witness
the one you give your all to is in front of you.
For him, you're there but not quite there.
Your every existence overshadowed by one person, the other woman.
Jealousy...
Useless, they say.
But jealousy is the only thing I have.
Since I can't have you....
May 3, 2013
Wild Romance 08
Friday, May 3, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
I Wish...
I wish...
How many times it has been said.
I wish...
A man, fall into being a lovelorn:
"I wish it was me who holds you tight."
"I wish it was me you're smiling at."
"I wish it was me you're saying 'sweet dreams' to."
"I wish that man was me..."
A woman forced to leave her loved one:
"I wish it was you who is waiting for me down the isle."
"I wish it was you who is holding my hand at the altar."
"I wish it was you who is putting the ring on my finger."
"I wish this man was you..."
A desperate lover in regret:
"I wish I could take back what I said."
"I wish I didn't do what I did."
"I wish I could hold back."
"I wish I could turn back time..."
In life, "I wish..." will always be said.
When sadness seeps through the happy times.
When hard times get too difficult to bear.
When looking back and regret what's been done.
My wish?
I wish I never have to say I wish anymore...
Not the way I did...
Not as much as I've done...
How many times it has been said.
I wish...
A man, fall into being a lovelorn:
"I wish it was me who holds you tight."
"I wish it was me you're smiling at."
"I wish it was me you're saying 'sweet dreams' to."
"I wish that man was me..."
A woman forced to leave her loved one:
"I wish it was you who is waiting for me down the isle."
"I wish it was you who is holding my hand at the altar."
"I wish it was you who is putting the ring on my finger."
"I wish this man was you..."
A desperate lover in regret:
"I wish I could take back what I said."
"I wish I didn't do what I did."
"I wish I could hold back."
"I wish I could turn back time..."
In life, "I wish..." will always be said.
When sadness seeps through the happy times.
When hard times get too difficult to bear.
When looking back and regret what's been done.
My wish?
I wish I never have to say I wish anymore...
Not the way I did...
Not as much as I've done...
Thursday, February 7, 2013
One Woman
To other people, love is like a window
For them, love opens up opportunities.
For them, love is a way to see the world.
For them, love is the warmth of the sun and the comforting cool breeze.
In one narrow corner of the world, one woman feels differently.
To her, love is like facing a one-sided mirror
In one side,
No matter how hard she tries to look at it, all she can see is herself...and herself alone
She tries walking to the other side
Through it, she can see and she can feel.
But no matter how hard she try, no one can see her, no one knows her existence.
Is the world being unfair?
To her...maybe...
Out of millions, she feels she's alone..she's different
She feels that she's cursed
She tries to open up
no one comes closer.
She tries to sealed herself up
no one cares.
Each and every day she builds wall after wall to protect herself...
to protect the tiny piece she treasures the most...
tiny piece of what's left of her heart.
When or how her heart can become whole again
She never dares to build up hope
For the world never fail to shower her with disappointments
She's tired of hurting...
She's tired of hurting....
For them, love opens up opportunities.
For them, love is a way to see the world.
For them, love is the warmth of the sun and the comforting cool breeze.
In one narrow corner of the world, one woman feels differently.
To her, love is like facing a one-sided mirror
In one side,
No matter how hard she tries to look at it, all she can see is herself...and herself alone
She tries walking to the other side
Through it, she can see and she can feel.
But no matter how hard she try, no one can see her, no one knows her existence.
Is the world being unfair?
To her...maybe...
Out of millions, she feels she's alone..she's different
She feels that she's cursed
She tries to open up
no one comes closer.
She tries to sealed herself up
no one cares.
Each and every day she builds wall after wall to protect herself...
to protect the tiny piece she treasures the most...
tiny piece of what's left of her heart.
When or how her heart can become whole again
She never dares to build up hope
For the world never fail to shower her with disappointments
She's tired of hurting...
She's tired of hurting....
Friday, September 7, 2012
Words Among Tears - 2
Friday, March 20, 2007
What's it like for them? Waiting anxiously through the week, jumping for joy when Friday finally arrives? There's always something that they're looking forward to. Children, siblings, parents... boyfriend.
It must be nice to be one of them....
I read the lines over and over again. I still remember how Triste always looks different on Fridays. Her expression is in full contrast with our other workmates. They were always full of energy on Friday, especially in the afternoon, a few hours away from a long weekend. But Triste, no... she never joins them. She would sit gloomily in front of her computer, editing those words in silent.
"I'm going to this new cafe opening tonight. Care to join me?" I asked.
"No. No, thanks. I've got tons of work to do, really." Answered Triste.
"Come on... it's Friday."
"Why does Friday have to be different with any other day?" She looked at me with an undefinable look in her eyes.
"Uhm... OK then." I got speechless.
After several times of fruitless effort in getting her to join the fun, me and the other workmates finally decided to stop asking her out at all. We thought we did the right thing, but after reading the next few pages of her diary, we knew we were dead wrong....
What's it like for them? Waiting anxiously through the week, jumping for joy when Friday finally arrives? There's always something that they're looking forward to. Children, siblings, parents... boyfriend.
It must be nice to be one of them....
I read the lines over and over again. I still remember how Triste always looks different on Fridays. Her expression is in full contrast with our other workmates. They were always full of energy on Friday, especially in the afternoon, a few hours away from a long weekend. But Triste, no... she never joins them. She would sit gloomily in front of her computer, editing those words in silent.
"I'm going to this new cafe opening tonight. Care to join me?" I asked.
"No. No, thanks. I've got tons of work to do, really." Answered Triste.
"Come on... it's Friday."
"Why does Friday have to be different with any other day?" She looked at me with an undefinable look in her eyes.
"Uhm... OK then." I got speechless.
After several times of fruitless effort in getting her to join the fun, me and the other workmates finally decided to stop asking her out at all. We thought we did the right thing, but after reading the next few pages of her diary, we knew we were dead wrong....
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Words Among Tears - 1
It's not crying, for me smiling is more painful.
When I smile cheerfully, yet I actually feel empty inside, broken and sad.
In the presence of love, I fell helpless, scared.
Whenever I realize the faintest spark of love that starts to grow, I'm terrified.
Why don't I?
For everytime I succumb to it, I was always the one that's crushed in the end, left behind and being forget about.
The absence of love keeps cutting fresh wounds to an already bruised and battered heart.
Dreaming... hallucinating... is the best I can do.
I let my imagination gets the best of me, just to run away from all my pain. To blurred my vision of the reality, to obscure the sad truth about my life.
I can survive until this day... but forever's a time too long to go through pound and broken like this....
That is the last page ever written in Triste's diary. Today, 5 years from the date written above the page, the woman's whereabouts is still a mystery. Not a soul know what had happened to her, where she's gone to or what she meant by the sad words blotched with tears.
For you to know who this woman I'm talking about, you need to take a look from the beginning of her diary pages.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Forever Dream
I'm tired...
Going from day to day, knowing that nothing in this world is in my favour.
I'm tired...
Waking up to the sun, knowing that it's just another day of me with only myself.
I'm tired...
Walking around, knowing that it's just gonna be me against the world.
I'm tired...
Crying my heart out, knowing that I've always been deprived of hope.
I'm tired...
Clutching this pain, knowing that I can never have what I long for.
I'm tired...
So let me just close my eyes and dream.
For in my dream I'm save from all harm, no tears for me to cry, no pain for me to feel.
If a dream can remove this tiredness I've always feel, then let me forever dream....
Going from day to day, knowing that nothing in this world is in my favour.
I'm tired...
Waking up to the sun, knowing that it's just another day of me with only myself.
I'm tired...
Walking around, knowing that it's just gonna be me against the world.
I'm tired...
Crying my heart out, knowing that I've always been deprived of hope.
I'm tired...
Clutching this pain, knowing that I can never have what I long for.
I'm tired...
So let me just close my eyes and dream.
For in my dream I'm save from all harm, no tears for me to cry, no pain for me to feel.
If a dream can remove this tiredness I've always feel, then let me forever dream....
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Stop!
Cold wind seems to seep through my bone
I feel so lost
My heart turns to stone
Whenever I see the journal you post
You seem so eager to devour the world
Conquer every corner of the unknown universe
A free soul....
I'm too afraid to look into me
Scared to find that I might feel
Over something that's so unreal
As vague as the distant stars I couldn't really see
Stop!
I ordered myself to stop
This cannot go on
I know that I'm just a sad lovelorn
I wrote this in tears
For not willing to overcome my fears
For not willing to move on
From something I've lost for so long
I feel so lost
My heart turns to stone
Whenever I see the journal you post
You seem so eager to devour the world
Conquer every corner of the unknown universe
A free soul....
I'm too afraid to look into me
Scared to find that I might feel
Over something that's so unreal
As vague as the distant stars I couldn't really see
Stop!
I ordered myself to stop
This cannot go on
I know that I'm just a sad lovelorn
I wrote this in tears
For not willing to overcome my fears
For not willing to move on
From something I've lost for so long
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