You said that you'll never let go. You said that you'll NEVER let go. She said it over and over again in her sleep. She was dreaming the same nightmare again. A nightmare where she walked alone after all the girls left with the guys who brought them an umbrella, shielding them from the rain. She desperately tried to find a place to avoid the rain from soaking her clothes wet even more. But there were no way to go.
Then, suddenly, she reached the part that she had never seen before. She kept on walking until she could see an intersection. From the distance, she noticed that someone was standing there. The closer she got the more she could see that the person standing there was him. Her love... her life... With a red umbrella in hand, he appeared to held one hand out to her. She started running towards him as she shouted, You said that you'll never let go, over and over again. When her hand was just a few inches from him, she woke up, panting, sweating, crying.
Reality suddenly hit her. It was not him that had let go, it was her. As the revelation seeped through her mind, she sobbed. All this time... it was really me... it was I who let go... it was my mistake...
After an hour, she stopped crying. A faint smile on her face. She walked to the window of her bedroom. Despite the heavy rain, she opened the window and stared blankly ahead. Don't worry, honey, I'll make it up to you. Don't worry, this time, I won't let go. And with that she jumped out of the window. Her body slammed to the street below. The water that surrounds her suddenly turned dark red. Her body was lifeless, but her smile was still there.
Along came a man, with a red umbrella in one hand, and another hand held out towards her. 'I'm here, honey, I'm always here. Come, let us go home.'
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Closure (5)
It was a gloomy Sunday afternoon. She was walking alone, not really sure where to go. She just needed to get out from the suffocating walls of her apartment. As she was getting closer to a busy intersection, light shower started to fall from the sky. Don't have any umbrella. Not like it matters. With her thought elsewhere, she kept walking until, suddenly...
A loud crash. Metals twisted. Glass breaks. People shouting.
She stopped dead on her track. Stupefy in front of the scene of a traffic accident. But there was something else that made her heart drummed and her vision blurred. She was reliving her terror. The most dreadful day in the history of her life...
Rain had stopped a few hours ago, but the sun didn't seem to care to show up. The sky 4 p.m. sky was almost as dark as dusk. They were walking home together after a Sunday lunch. They were walking hand in hand, all smile. Anyone can see how in love they were, how they adore each other. 'I love you,' she said. 'I love you more,' he said. 'I don't want to be apart from you,' she said. 'Don't worry, honey, I'll never let go of your hand.' he said.
Suddenly, the sky opened up and rain poured down on them. They both ran and found a canopy to shield them from the rain. 'You wait here, I'll go and get us a taxi.' he said. 'No, let's just wait until the rain stops.' she said. 'Honey, the sooner we get home, the better. The rain isn't going to stop anytime soon, trust me.' he said. But, not sure why, she didn't want to let him go. She held tight to his hands. He smiled at her, a reassuring smile, and motion for her to let go of his hand. She had her grip loosen just a bit. He let go and ran towards the intersection to hail a taxi. She muttered, 'But you said you'll never let go...' when suddenly there were a loud shriek of car stopping suddenly, the sound of glass breaking, and people screaming. She ran towards the intersection. There he was, laying on the ground. He was still smiling, but it was a lifeless smile by then. There were pools of blood surrounding his head. His body laid still in a twisted pose on the wet asphalt. She couldn't scream. She couldn't say his name. She couldn't cry. It was a sight that left her empty. She felt nothing but emptiness.
A hand touched her shoulder brought her back to reality. 'Are you okay, Miss?' asked an elderly woman. She managed a nod, although she was not sure whether she's okay or whether she can be okay. She ran home, slammed the door and sit motionless on her living room couch. I remember... she muttered. I remember.... That day, exactly one year ago, was the day when her nightmare sequences started. That day, exactly one year ago, was the day when her life stopped. That day, exactly one year ago, was the day she lost him.
A loud crash. Metals twisted. Glass breaks. People shouting.
She stopped dead on her track. Stupefy in front of the scene of a traffic accident. But there was something else that made her heart drummed and her vision blurred. She was reliving her terror. The most dreadful day in the history of her life...
Rain had stopped a few hours ago, but the sun didn't seem to care to show up. The sky 4 p.m. sky was almost as dark as dusk. They were walking home together after a Sunday lunch. They were walking hand in hand, all smile. Anyone can see how in love they were, how they adore each other. 'I love you,' she said. 'I love you more,' he said. 'I don't want to be apart from you,' she said. 'Don't worry, honey, I'll never let go of your hand.' he said.
Suddenly, the sky opened up and rain poured down on them. They both ran and found a canopy to shield them from the rain. 'You wait here, I'll go and get us a taxi.' he said. 'No, let's just wait until the rain stops.' she said. 'Honey, the sooner we get home, the better. The rain isn't going to stop anytime soon, trust me.' he said. But, not sure why, she didn't want to let him go. She held tight to his hands. He smiled at her, a reassuring smile, and motion for her to let go of his hand. She had her grip loosen just a bit. He let go and ran towards the intersection to hail a taxi. She muttered, 'But you said you'll never let go...' when suddenly there were a loud shriek of car stopping suddenly, the sound of glass breaking, and people screaming. She ran towards the intersection. There he was, laying on the ground. He was still smiling, but it was a lifeless smile by then. There were pools of blood surrounding his head. His body laid still in a twisted pose on the wet asphalt. She couldn't scream. She couldn't say his name. She couldn't cry. It was a sight that left her empty. She felt nothing but emptiness.
A hand touched her shoulder brought her back to reality. 'Are you okay, Miss?' asked an elderly woman. She managed a nod, although she was not sure whether she's okay or whether she can be okay. She ran home, slammed the door and sit motionless on her living room couch. I remember... she muttered. I remember.... That day, exactly one year ago, was the day when her nightmare sequences started. That day, exactly one year ago, was the day when her life stopped. That day, exactly one year ago, was the day she lost him.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Closure (4)
I used to laugh. I used to love. I used to live.
I used to look at the world in colorful tones. The bright blue sky, the fresh green trees, the pretty red roses.
I used to hear the melody of life. Birds chirping, children laughing, people singing.
Now the world has gone all but black and white.
All the color fades into yesterday.
Now the world has gone mute.
No singing tunes and no ringing laughter.
It all starts with you.
It all ends because of you.
Now, everything about you is a scar, my scar.
Carved deep in my flesh.
At times, it still bleeding.
At times, it still hurts.
You left so abruptly and leave me cold.
And now, living life feels nothing but that, cold.
Her pen hovered over her diary page. She could no longer write. All she could do right then, is cry....
I used to look at the world in colorful tones. The bright blue sky, the fresh green trees, the pretty red roses.
I used to hear the melody of life. Birds chirping, children laughing, people singing.
Now the world has gone all but black and white.
All the color fades into yesterday.
Now the world has gone mute.
No singing tunes and no ringing laughter.
It all starts with you.
It all ends because of you.
Now, everything about you is a scar, my scar.
Carved deep in my flesh.
At times, it still bleeding.
At times, it still hurts.
You left so abruptly and leave me cold.
And now, living life feels nothing but that, cold.
Her pen hovered over her diary page. She could no longer write. All she could do right then, is cry....
Monday, April 9, 2012
Closure (3)
The dream haunted her more than she thought it would. A friend asked, "What's wrong?". I'm okay, was her answer. "You look so distant." another question. I just didn't get a goodnight sleep, that's all. It's true. Although she wouldn't mention why. The truth was, her nightmare sessions seemed to eat her up inside. There was a hollow empty space that she never knew existed inside her heart. A hollow empty space she never knew starting to develop inside her heart. A hollow empty space that sucked her happiness right out of her. I know that I have been lonely all this time, but I've never felt this empty before. Never.... She suddenly ran to the back of her office, entered one of the toilet booth and shocked at the feeling of her fingers that touched the wet streak of tears down her cheeks. What is this? What is this feeling? That was the tenth time for these past few months that she had done the exact same thing. Burst into tears all of a sudden at people's questions of her feelings or condition. Her hands trembling. Her breath seemed to be caught in her chest. She choked and started to sob. Ten minutes had passed. Her tears had stopped. She took a deep, deep breath and wipe away the remaining of tears on her cheeks. I'm okay. I'm fine. She stepped out of the booth and look into the mirror on top of the counter. She straightened her body and walk out of the toilet as if nothing happened. No one has ever saw her cry. And no one ever will....
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