Sometimes

Sometimes
at the end of the day I want to say "I'm tired."
But, no, I couldn't.
I have no right to complain.

Sometimes
when everything gets too tough I want to say "help me."
But, no, I couldn't.
I don't deserve any help.

At the dead of night, at my most fragile moment,
I'll allow myself to cry and feel the pain that's overwhelming my heart,
clenching my chest and sob away.

Though when the sun arise I have to put my bravest face on.
I'll stood tall for everyone to see that I'm up for whatever challenge.
And let them be oblivious of the little girl inside, crowing with fear.

Living is hard enough without being weak.
Had to walk headlong into a storm without direction nor guidance.
Therefore, I'll allow the tears sometimes.
Only sometimes.

Used To Tears

I said I don't want to see you.
I said I got more important things to do.
I fooled you, didn't I?

I said I don't care.
I said I can bear.
I fooled you, didn't I?

I said I don't love you.
I said everything isn't true.
I fooled you, didn't I?

The truth struggling to break free, wanted so bad to reach you.
These eyes trying to make me see, that all I ever wanted is you.
But something shackled me, clouding my mind.
A thing called fear of being brokenhearted and left behind.

If you can't see through it all,
I'm fine to take the fall.
Because despite the fears,
I've gotten so used to tears.

Gary Barlow - Dying Inside

The Dark Side of the Moon

Look at me, and what do you see?

Someone who's carefree, relax, without a care in the world.

Behind closed door it was the very opposite.

I'm heart-broken and sad.

Do you see me smiling?

A warm and sweet smile from the heart.

Away from prying eyes I cried,

I'm hurt and dying inside.

That cheerful voice you hear?

Is a mere facade.

Because every time darkness descends,

I'm crying myself to sleep every night.

My heart is the dark side of the moon.

Everything you will see is only the surface.

There's a part of me that will be forever hidden.

A part that isn't known to any soul.

I tried my best not to be noticed.

Putting a veil to my truest feelings and emotions.

For me and my heart and my mind and my life

No one but me who truly cares. 

Dying Inside - Gary Barlow

...

"Is the world really beautiful?" she asks.

"Of course. If you only see it that way, you will see that the world really is beautiful."

She thought deeply. "I was told about it many, many times. But how come I could never, not even once, see it that way? For the world I know is the world of sadness, loneliness, and emptiness. The world who is always against me, where nothing is on my side and nothing is right."

...

"Are we really worthy of something?" she asks.

"Of course. If you only love yourself, you'll see that you are worthy of everything. You are priceless."

She thought deeply. "I got scolded for being worthless and useless so many times to count. People call me names, bad ones, and laugh at my face. They compared me with others and said that I'm lacking. That I lack everything. I was treated as if I'm nothing."

...

"Is love for everybody?" she asks.

"Of course. Love comes for everyone. In every heart love always lives."

She thought deeply. "I guess I miss out on it. Because I don't feel it, I don't know how it is and I don't know what it is. I'm not even sure I have a heart nor feelings, no such things in me. In a place where heart lies, I only have a hollow black pit."

...

My Love...

I stretch my hand desperately trying to grasp my love. When I thought I can feel a touch, turns out I was just grasping empty space.

I hold my breath trying to resurface to be with my love. When I thought the dark water pulling me deeper and deeper has surrender, when I can see and feel the sunlight again, no one was there but me flailing for air.

I run and run and run, hoping one day I could find what I was looking for, something that's missing from me. Each and every mile I run, doors are shutting tight, windows are being locked. Quiet. All quiet but the sound of my labored breath.

I look around, I'm calling your name, I scream!!!

All I can see is my reflection on the puddle in the middle of the empty street.
All I can hear is my own echo surrounding me from every direction.
All I can feel is hollow.

I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of searching.
My love, come look for me. Because this is it. I have no strength left to get to you.

My love, come look for me.

Nobody

I can't make you smile,

no matter what funny lines I said.

I can't make you feel safe,

no matter what I do to protect you.

I can't make you happy,

no matter what I sacrifice for you.

I have no use nor purpose.

I'm here yet invisible.

Because I am... nobody.

Jung Joon Young - One Day

Trust Issues

Trust works both ways, dear,
not a solo act.
You need to earn it here,
not just vocalize a pact.

Disappointed, I have.
With how ignorant you seem.
Frustrated, I have.
With how nonchalant you seem.

Why?
Why did you break promises you've said
and leave me out in the cold?
Why?
Why did you let me bled
and leave a gap of wound I can only hold?

I want to be fair
and said you're not to blame.
But you make this so hard to bear
for it's been a while since you've played this game.